Modus Operandi: Be Assertive

The Dave & Cindy Show

February 22, 2013 Recap

Modus operandi,

how do you live your life?

Be Assertive

Dave and Cindy talk about learning how to be more assertive and the benefits...

Assertiveness requires an understanding that while you can make requests and state your opinion others are well within their rights to agree or disagree. So, you don't want to get upset when people state an alternate opinion. "I would rather be happy than be right" explains Cindy.

Cindy's definition of being Assertive: it's an interpersonal skill in which you demonstrate healthy confidence and are able to stand up for yourself and your rights while respecting the rights of others". "Break down that barrier and say what you think" says Dave; lay it all out there: the good, bad, and ugly, and your assertive spirit will naturally become more confident. "When you are assertive you become more direct and more honest" says Dave.

We should lower our expectations because expectations could lead to resentment. Cindy's definition of resentment: "expectations are resentments under construction". You can not expect others to read your mind or in between your lines, you also must understand that you are not in charge of how others feel or behave. Being assertive also relinquishes fears.

In order to become assertive one must establish their boundaries, don't forget your N.U.T.S !

N.U.TS = NON-NEGOTIABLE, UNALTERABLE TERMS

N.U.T.s are the things you’re committed to, the things that matter more than anything else: your kids, your career, your primary relationships, yourself, your purpose, your spiritual practice, your hobbies, your integrity, your morals and your psychological well-being.

N.U.T.s are the boundaries that define you as man, those things which, if repeatedly compromised, will gradually—but assuredly—turn you into a pissed-off, resentful man who will likely blame others—especially your wife—for your unhappiness.

Your N.U.T.s are uniquely yours. They reflect who you are as a man and the man you want to be. Compromise your N.U.T.s, and you’ll compromise yourself. Compromise yourself too often, and you’ll become an extremely unhappy man, husband and father. Art of Manliness Blog

So, in conclusion, the benefits of being assertive include improving relationships, gaining confidence, less stress, and less resentment. Be assertive, and don't expect people to read your mind.

Dave updates us on the new elephant center out in Fellsmere and on a side note, Cindy recommends reading Neil Young's autobiography Waging Heavy Peace.

And a final quote... "To thine own self be true"

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